It’s a Freaking Holiday. Relax. Be Happy. I’ll Help.
I remember a time when Christmas could get me really stressed out. I got over that years ago. But, having a decent memory and being pretty empathetic, I’m pained and saddened to see the exhaustion and sheer desperation on so many other faces out there; so many frightened, beaten down, worn out people, scurrying around, trying to satisfy needs and desires and expectations that aren’t even real, put there by others; trying in vain to quiet those demanding inner voices, spending themselves deeper and deeper into debt…
And for what?!? Does anyone stop and ask themselves what in the hell they’re doing? and why? I want to shake some of these people and scream, “Dudes, wake up! It’s not worth it! Stop! Go take a nap and do something nice for yourself for a change, take a little time to think about what Christmas actually means to you, if anything, and call me in the morning. No, don’t call me in the morning. Call me in the afternoon, because I want you to sleep in late tomorrow gaddammit. Get out of here!”
Seriously, I don’t want to hear any of this crap about how stressed you are because you still ‘have’ to buy x number of presents for x number of people - only a fraction of whom you really want to buy for; less of whom you can really afford to buy for. That’s what we enlightened folk call bullshit. Grow a spine. If you can’t afford to buy a gift for someone, tell them you’re opting out of gift exchanging this year because you can’t afford it. If they’re the kind of person that won’t understand or sympathize with your situation, why are you even friends with them, let alone buying them presents?
My Christmas shopping list this year is the shortest it’s ever been, and I’ve told people that. Some of them have been openly relieved to know they don’t ‘have’ to buy me something now either. (Funny thing is, I’m not even broke. I just don’t buy into this particular ritual all that much, and at this point am only willing to play along so far. That is, to the extent I see it as an excuse to give to a few especially close friends and family members, who I’m feeling generous towards already).
Why would anyone want to receive a gift given out of obligation anyway? out of a sense that they ‘had’ to give you something? That’s not genuine. Please, don’t anyone ever do that on my account, because I might have to physically hurt you. (And I’ll admit, I might enjoy it a little… but only a little, and only because I’m doing you a favor).
Mandatory gift giving, if that’s all it is at the time, is stupid. I give people gifts when the mood strikes me, regardless of what day of the year it is, because it’s nice, and I want to show I care, and I want to make that person feel special. I don’t know about you guys, but Christmas gifts, while nice and appreciated, rarely make me feel particularly special. In fact, for me, they even carry a bit of guilt. In the back of my mind I’m wondering how much stress searching for my gifts added to that person’s Christmas shopping stress-fest.
Bottom line: Just keep things in perspective. This time next year, who’s even going to care what went down this year. The point of this whole rant is, if you’re not enjoying a holiday, you’re doing it wrong, and you should either start getting it right (that is, make it fun, meaningful and for Christ’s sake, keep it within your means!), or just sit the thing out. Why not? Life’s too short, and it just blows my mind that people actually commit suicide over this shit!
It isn’t even Jesus’ real birthday you know, for what that’s even worth, if you’re even a Christian. Everybody knows this, so I wish people would stop pretending otherwise. But I digress.
If you’ve been stressing out needlessly over Christmas, a holiday, that ought to just be warm and fuzzy and celebratory and fun, for the love of God, just stop. Just cool out!!!… take some deep breaths… cheer up. Don’t worry, I’m here to help.
My posts for the remainder of this month, what few posts there will be (we decided it would be a good idea to move halfway across the country on Christmas eve) - shall bring you only smiles and good cheer! That is my Christmas present to you.
[audio:Flaming-Lips-Bad-Days.mp3]
comments
6 Responses to “It’s a Freaking Holiday. Relax. Be Happy. I’ll Help.”
Brooke, like to listen and see your performance. Realy do! I’am also a chordie.com-fan. I gave up my juridical life, for the guitar, at the age of 42… But I don’t want to take any lesson. Want to learn it by myself. And chordie is indeed the best site to learn from. However, but why is your performance on the site and YouTube not not printable, in a ratedable, paper chords and with instructions? Some people tried. I’m touched by your Karma Police, by Radiohead… how can we replace the piano? Enjoyed your performance, hope to do one day the same! Best regards, Kenneth
Thanks Kenneth. :) That reminds me, I found a great youtube video that teaches the piano for karma police. I must add that link to my post.
I don’t know how I would make a video printable. I wish it were possible. You can download them if you have Firefox plus the magic video-downloading plugin.
YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER U DISGRACE THE LORD U GOIN TO HELLLL
Seems you beat her at it,and anyone else for that matter!
Dude,you´re in hell already!!!Don´t you see it?
yeahh..by the way, what are you getting me for christmas !?
Hehehe, I had to approve bicth face’s comment, you guys understand, because it’s just so god damned funny. :)
I love you guys.