Dog People
I spent the past weekend in a dusty arena surrounded by a whole lot of dogs, and a whole lot of Dog People. An interesting breed. If you’re wondering, I was at an agility trial (you know, where trained dogs run through crazy obstacle courses and are judged on speed and agility and what not).
I was there to lend my services as videographer, cheerleader, chairwarmer and dogsitter for a good friend of mine who was competing with two of her dogs. Mostly I was just there to hang out with her. We hadn’t seen much of each other since I got into town. Plus, who can pass up a road trip and free hotel stay? Anyway, ‘Chairwarmer’ ended up being my primary activity (which I wish I’d been better prepared for) though I did take some kickass video footage.
Not that I didn’t try to ‘mingle’. Oh, I did. But I learned an interesting fact about Dog People. Most of them aren’t exactly ‘People People’…Don’t get me wrong, they’re friendly enough, once they notice you exist. But here’s how you get them to notice you exist: have a dog. Next, don’t talk about yourself, talk about your dog. Better yet, talk about their dog. Seriously, aside from a few notable exceptions who should know who they are, I felt like a ghost walking around that place. I lacked a visibility-device (a dog) or the proper dialect (ability to speak knowingly about, well, the only two things anyone seemed to be talking about: dogs and agility). I was basically a variation of a walking SEP field.
Normally I hold my own pretty well with new people. But not so much with these folks, at least not at first. I needed a helper. Enter Stetson, my friend’s teeny Papillion puppy and possibly the cutest creature in the world. After enough chairwarming and bored contemplation of my situation, I realized the social dynamic operating and decided, from then on, to carry Stetson around with me wherever I went, whenever I could.
The result was as I predicted, but I was surprised to be so right. Suddenly, people could see me. Well, first they saw Stetson, but then they looked up, and there was me. Seriously, whereas before I couldn’t get so much as a little eye contact or a returned smile as I passed by, now I couldn’t avoid being stopped to chat. Now it was all smiles and “awwww’s” and “Who’s this little guy?” everywhere I went. Stetson was totally my ticket to popularity with Dog People!
I hope I don’t seem like I’m putting down Dog People, because I’m not. I kind of am one. And we all have our quirks. I’m just analysing the psychology involved. It became very clear to me that these were people who don’t easily connect with other people. They simply relate better to animals, or dogs - and most interesting to me - they seem able to connect with people only really through their animals. They want to talk, they want to open up (in fact, I had to be the one to end a lot of the Stetson-induced conversations, or never get out of them) but without a dog present to break the ice, they can’t, or won’t.
Like I said, I can somewhat relate. Most of the ‘people skills’ I possess have been more or less deliberately cultivated. I don’t like small talk, for one thing, but I’ve learned the art well enough to be able to ‘appear normal.’ Really, most of us are probably this way to some degree. And what social situation isn’t made easier by the presence of a cute animal? Even if you can’t think of anything to say or find much common ground with a person, you can always connect, at least temporarily, by mutually gushing over a puppy. Usually that brings your guard down and you actually can relate pretty easily to the human creature after that.
Mind you, I would classify the Dog People at this agility trial as more extreme. Any lingering doubts about that went out the window whenever I had to leave Stetson in his carrier and once again walk alone through the crowd. The same people I’d ‘befriended’ earlier that day, once again, looked right through me. I guess I’d been nothing more than a walking dog-transporter to them, or someone to talk to about their dog for awhile, until I had to go and they found someone else to talk about their dog for awhile.
Maybe they were all just preoccupied with the competition and would have behaved differently in other circumstances. It’s hard to say. In any case, that weekend, at that place, as long as I was attached to a dog, I was ’somebody.’ By myself, I was a ghost. It was a wierd feeling. Unpleasant if I let myself take it personally, but almost amusing when I decided to be philosophical about it instead.
What can I say, people are strange. Sometimes all you can do is figure out how the ones you’re dealing with tick and try to work with that. My valuable lesson was not to take any of it personally. The best thing is just to accept people and situations for what they are and look for ways to make the best of them. That my two-legged friends, is life.
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YAY! A new entry……I always look forward to reading your perceptions on things, they are always so interesting and such down to earth realities. Keep em comin!
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter. Here’s a couple I thought I would share with you:
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an arse.
I got a chuckle out of them, thought you might too!
To the first comment: Thanks!
To the second comment: Haha! Good ones.
By the way, that’s Stetson in the bottom photo. He truly is one of the cutest things alive. The photo doesn’t do him justice at all. Papillions are super smart too. Because of Stetson, I’m actually thinking of getting a little papillion of my own (when I have a few hundred bucks to spare) and maybe even training her (it’ll be a girl - Stetson needs a girlfriend) in agility and becoming a full-out crazy Dog Person myself! Woo! :P