What Am I Doing?
Do you ever become so consumed with self-doubt that everything seems pointless?
I might not post for awhile. (That last post was a “fuuu… I should post something” post, and I tried to put on a happy face. Did it work?)
Sorry to everyone whose emails and Youtube messages I’ve been ignoring too. It’s not personal, I’m just withdrawing from the world right now. I’m sure it’ll pass.
The Driving Dream Comes to a Close
News update the 4th:
Tonight marked the closing of the ‘me as delivery chick’ dream sequence. Short and interesting, but now it is onward to a better dream. I’m not taking that dispatch job either, even if I could attach ‘ninja’ to my title, because the pay is no good and working nights is no good. I’m in a band. I need my nights.
But do not fear for me! I found a better paying job (well, I have to apply yet), with perfect hours, doing basically what I used to do back in Alberta, only less evil (theoretically). Whereas I used to call people up and conduct surveys (of both evil market research and evil political varieties), this would involve calling people up for donations to charities. Not the most fun thing in the world, I imagine, but I’d be a supervisor before long anyway, since that’s where I left off at the call center I worked at before.
It’s just a shame I no longer have my Soldering Iron of Justice… Nobody fucked with me when I had the Soldering Iron of Justice.
Here’s a song I have stuck in my head.
[audio:Clash-Should-I-Stay-Or-Should-I-Go.mp3]
(The Soldering Iron of Justice)
Sasquatch Festival!
Ass crack of dawn, Saturday morning, we make our way to the Gorge in George, Washington to attend this groovy thing called the Sasquatch Festival. Are any of you going?
The line-up isn’t the greatest compared to previous years (which I didn’t even know about at the time so I missed. This year is the first I’ve ever heard of the Sasquatch Festival. Shut up, I lived in Alberta for three years). But I am so starved for some good live music, so it’ll be cool. B’sides, come on, Bjork? (MP3), The Arcade Fire? (MP3), The Beastie Boys?, Grizzly Bear?… all awesome! And I’m sure there are more good ones. Most of these bands I just haven’t heard before. I wish I had more time to check them all out before going, but whatever, I’m exciteded.
There are also some good comedians hosting. And look at the damn scenery! Look, damn you, look!!!
(some nifty photos I found on this guy’s blog, taken at last year’s Sasquatch):
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How To Play ‘Soul Meets Body’ by Death Cab For Cutie
[audio:DCFC-Soul-Meets-Body.mp3]
Chords * Lyrics * MP3 * Album: Plans
(Chords: Am C + Am C G)
GUITAR DEMO/COVER ON YOUTUBE (by Andrew)
Nifty unplugged version by Death Cab.
Hit By A Brick Red Truck
News update the first:
I got a new job as a delivery chick last week. I thought it would be really cool, but in reality, it pretty much sucks. It’s like driving around in an oven all day (my old chevy has no air-conditioning) trying to find - on tight deadlines - all these poorly marked places in a totally fucked up city (built off an old mining town that was just thrown together and has no logic to its layout whatsoever), getting scammed on gas costs, practically passing out from the heat, dealing with rush hour traffic every day, fighting my own road-rage tendencies and risking my ass, all for nowheres near enough money.
News update the second:
I got hit by a truck yesterday while on the job. A brick red truck. No, it wasn’t my ‘fault’, but on some fundamental level I believe I brought it into my experience, and for a reason (I believe in the idea that life is a dream). More on that later. Anyway, bottom line is it jarred me awake and got me really looking at this job and realizing that yeah, I’m quitting. Gave my notice last night.
Oh yeah, and I’m fine. My truck didn’t even get wrecked, just banged up a little. The left front corner is smashed. My left headlight got knocked out. The bastard who was speeding and hit me totaled the front of his truck, so it had to be towed, but he was unharmed.
Speak of the devil, I have to go to work in ten minutes. I’ll update more later.
Meanwhile, you guuyyys… what’s a good job? Give me ideas!
News Update the third:
Tonight was, of course, super slack, it was nice and cool out (not the usual oven situation), and I enjoyed myself. If it was like that all the time and I didn’t drive a gas-guzzler, it’d be quite alright. But this is the exception, not the rule. It’s weird, every time I get fed up and decide to quit a crappy job, it all of a sudden gets better. It’s the devil, trying to tempt me to second-guess myself. Stupid devil. I’m not gonna.
BUT, I befriended the night dispatcher tonight, while we sat around being dead for the first hour (by ‘dead’ I mean no orders, but that is a great sentence), and as it happens, she’s leaving next week and they don’t have a replacement for her yet. Her job is about as slack as they get. She spends most of her time dicking around on Myspace. So she’s going to see about training me and having me switch to that. Word.
Think happy thoughts!