God Is Not a Human
[scribbled upon waking from an unusually deep sleep, January 25, 2008]:
cloth beds hang from the ceiling in some dark, damp, beautiful - familiar - room. i’ve been inside it in dreams. it’s warm. i listen closely and hear birds and other beasts outside. what time and place have i found myself in this time? i like these smells i can’t quite recognize. they fill me with nostalgia for places I’ve never been, people I’ve never seen, a life I’ve never lived. how can that be? opening the opening, my jaw goes slack. the sky so wide and so alive. i never saw such wisdom in something so other, so not human. i never laid eyes upon the spirit world like this, right here in the middle of my world, spanning an entire horizon and sending me back inside to compose myself. am i awake? i’ve never been more awake. am I alive? I’ve never been less dead. i’m not alone, i realize when a hand on my shoulder with a sweet lady voice attached brings my attention back to the room with the warm smells. they’re her smells and i am not a woman. i am her husband. i am in love with her. she is my true friend. she is a sight like the sky. she is wise. she is alive like no one I’ve ever seen in the time I came from, which was when…? i can’t grasp it like i could moments ago. i feel a sense of mild loss, and it is replaced with a sense of gaining everything. so this is my real life. so this is my real home. so that was all a dream. there is no sun here, just the light of truth everywhere. there is no sadness, not in this moment. but I do know of it. it can be felt, even in this place. probably because sadness is a beautiful color too, when it’s sung right.
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I know it doesn’t rhyme, but these would make good song lyrics!
thanks! that’s the idea of these free-flow writing things, so I’m glad you think so.
of course, as for the rhyming thing, as soon as I try to sing it like a song, rhymes sneak out of the woodwork anyway that were hiding between lines and behind other words. but… exactly! water takes on the shape of its container.
I don’t know which post to leave a comment on. But holy shit is it ever white in here. Also, if I look back at my old comments, will mY pSyChoTiC cApiTALizAtioN show up now? Probably not, since I didn’t use any pSyChoTiC cApiTALizAtioN in my previous comments.
It’s been interesting to… hey, was that a paragraph break? Oh sorry, I got sidetracked. Anyway, it’s been interesting to watch you deconstruct and reconstruct your webself over the past year (from a safe 1700 miles away). Here’s to another year of who the hell knows what.