[Mixtape 1 of 4] :: Dream Songs
Songs about dreams, vaguely referencing dreams, or with a title containing the word ‘dream’.
Basically I typed ‘dream’ into my iTunes search/filter. Who knew there’d be so many! and all so good! I didn’t have time to be a human filter (however I did want to post this today to go with my dream post), so I left most of them in, but divided them into 4 convenient (1 hour) ’sub-mixtapes’.
Lets take it one at a time…
Dreamtape Volume 1 :: Side A [Sorry dudes. All mixtapes are temporarily out of commission until I find a way to not have them use up all of my allotted monthly bandwidth within a matter of days!]
1. Beck - Girl Dreams
2. Belle & Sebastian - I Could Be Dreaming
3. The Cranberries - Dreaming My Dreams
4. David Bowie - An Occasional Dream
5. The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect
6. Eric’s Trip - I Often Dream of Trains
7. Fleetwood Mac - Dreams
8. Hayden - Bad As They Seem
9. Iron & Wine - Fever Dream
10. Life Records Sub-Audio Recording for Children - Dreams
11. Low - Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me (Smiths cover)
12. The Moaners - Dreamin’ About Flyin’
13. Neil Young - After The Goldrush (live)
14. Of Montreal - I Was A Landscape In Your Dream
15. Psychic TV - The Orchids
16. Reverend Gary Davis - Devil’s Dream
17. Tom Waits - Innocent When You Dream
18. Tsukuyomi - A Little Night Dream
A Dream I Had (Starring Internet Celebs!)
[The following is a dream journal entry I wrote immediately upon waking, Wednesday, January 16th, 2008]:
Part 1:
I’m blonde, and I’m swimming with my “husband” (who in the dream happens to be Tim Ferriss), in a vast and beautiful, crystal-clear blue body of water, possibly a tropical ocean (not sure). At one point there is the sense that I am injured or weak. I feel no negativity about this, it’s just how it is. I’m swimming underwater but it’s difficult, so as Tim comes toward me, I grab hold of his arms which are crossed in front of him (he looks like a superhero, a smiling superhero, and is whisking across the water like he’s flying, or has jet-power. He’s not using his arms. So I grab onto them and instantly am filled with the exaltation of moving at a great speed with great ease. I’m underwater still.
Next thing I know, I’m fine, no longer weak or injured, and I find myself still moving at this incredible speed, but on my own. I zoom ahead of Tim and look back and he’s keeping up but staying behind a bit, smiling at me, looking content as can be. We’re both traversing vast distances with each stroke of our legs, not using our arms at all. There is a powerful feeling of grace and blissful calm like I’ve never ever felt before, even in flying dreams.
Part 2:
I’m at a casual dinner party with a few people in a hotel room. It’s being hosted by Garrett and Amber (a lovely couple who host their own - awesome - radio show in real life called Hollow Earth Radio. I was introduced to them at a party by my friend Tim Boucher). We’re sitting on the floor around a low table, Japanese-style. I’m not sure who the other guests are, but they’re friends of the hosts. At each place setting is a little gift package for each of the guests to open while they wait for dinner (dream aside, that’s kind of a cool idea).
>> FF >>
I’m sitting at one of the heads of the table and Garrett is perpendicular to me on my left. We’re talking over dinner, and he suddenly has the look of remembering something. He turns around and grabs from behind him an oversized pen and a large, almost used-up pad of paper, with only one blank sheet left. He hands it to me and tells me I should write down my goals and dreams for the coming year. Like, right now. Yes, at the dinner table. So, kind of nervously, I stare at the blank sheet and start to think about my goals and dreams. I think (and then write down) “become more intuitive and act on impulse more often.” (This is partly inspired by what Garrett has just done — act on his intuition and tell me to do this, despite it seeming weird and being in the middle of a dinner party).
[End of dream].
At that point, I awake. I know instantly that the dream is a message from my inner Self. I also know with just a few minutes of reflecting what it all means, which is unusual for me.
Mood: Optimistic
Behind the door a brilliant pulsing light
I knew what it was, what it meant
I knew at my core
what lie behind the door
A power unbearably strong
I became deathly afraid
but irresistably drawn
I wanted to bask in it forever
I wanted to paint it, sing it, speak it, to be it
But I would keep on protecting myself
cleverly, I thought
from ever confronting or claiming
the full creative blast of that Force
Surrender to it
Let it in, let it out
(a loving voice said)
Get out of your own way
It’s okay to be afraid.
I took the loving voice aside
And told it all the reasons
How it couldn’t be that simple
And Life couldn’t be that kind
The doorway dimmed
And the light began to recede
I knew what this meant, what I’d done
And I became truly, deathly afraid
I pleaded for the light to return
I fell to my knees, humble, a child
Surrender to it
Let it in, let it out
(the loving voice said)
Get out of your own way
It’s alright if you’re afraid.
And the floods came
And the sorrow was great
But the relief was greater that followed
As the cracks began to brighten
And the fear returned, but lessened
My body lost its tension
The pulse grew stronger
The brilliance grew fuller
The darkness crawled to the edges
Of wherever I’d been hiding
And I fell silent
Surrender to it
Let it in, let it out
(my loving voice said)
Get out of your own way
You don’t need to be afraid.
I nodded my head
The door burst open
The light almost visibly smiling
All it ever wanted, I guess
Was for me to say yes
I was still afraid
But I didn’t go blind
I didn’t get burned
And the fear lessened,
With a simple intention
Whispered in a loving voice
I was being warmed from the inside
Only my suffering would die.
I Often Dream of Websites (and Glamour!)
Last night, all I seemed to dream about was websites! It didn’t even involve my own website, per se (despite all my obsessing over it the past few days). It was a shared value community-related thing and it felt oddly exciting (for a dream about websites). It was about self-image and becoming bigger-than-life — first in image, then in reality. I was seeing all these different people’s character profiles, skills inventories and each included an amazing self-portrait that beautifully captured that person at his/her best. All the profiles were somehow connected, too. I was flipping through them like a book (but with no hands, and they were websites).
The self-portrait thing made me think: dudes, we need glamour shots. That’s right, glamour shots. How’s that for a stretch into ‘unspiritual’, ’superficial’ territory (a closed-minded way to look at it, though, but prevalent among artists, intellectuals and spiritual types; and setting things up as opposites that don’t have to be). Fuck that shit. Get yourself some bling and unabashedly pose it up for some cameras. We’re all too cool these days. Remember how unapologetically over-the-top people were with their public images back in the 80s? There was something to that that’s important, that doesn’t have only to do with the excessive levels of narcissism that were characteristic of the decade. And it has nothing to do with the particular aesthetic of the time, either (men in spandex? women wearing quaterback-sized shoulderpads? none of that freaky shit — unless you’re into that freaky shit, then go for it!).
It’s the acknowledgement that self-image and public perception matter (they aren’t everything, but they matter!), and an acceptance of our inherent inclination towards the theatrical, the dramatic. I think we underestimate the importance of playing dress-up and play-acting in real life as one of the keys to happiness. We’re fascinated by celebrities — and make them into celebrities — because they totally ‘get’ this, and are living it, making money doing it. We’re all too repressed (not of necessity, though) so we live vicariously through them and at the same time hate them for it. I know I don’t necessarily speak for everyone on that, but I think I speak for enough of us.
There’s something important in giving that shit up, though. You’re the star of your own show, why not act like it? (I hope you guys realize I’m mostly talking to myself here). If nothing else, it’s just smart. It’s just branding taken to a higher level. It makes sense on a number of levels to encapsulate your ‘character’ somehow in visual, iconic form. Not only will this make you more interesting and memorable to others, it will also act as a ‘power symbol’ for you. It goes right along with the character sketch and the skillz inventory in that regard. As part of a shared value community, I want to relate to my fellow value-sharers visually, as real people, with like, faces and bodies and a personal ’styles’ and stuff — and, also, I want to know them as the selves they are striving to become. I want to lend my energy to that effort by holding that image of you in my mind. I want you to do that for me. Psychic mutual hype alliances.
Hey, here’s an idea if you’re at a loss — give me a photo of yourself, tell me what you envision for yourself, and I’ll photoshop it into 2D reality (it’s your job to take it into 3D, 4D, etc.). Maybe I’ll get real ambitious and paint it into reality — immortalize you in art. I may very well start offering my services as a “godstar” portrait artist, painting for people depictions of their Ideal Selves (approximations, of course, and subject to outgrowing, naturally). This is what my ‘super-secret art project‘ was that I posted about awhile back. When I think about getting back into painting, it’s that idea that gets me super excited, because it gives people a level of value that goes beyond mere decoration (not that there’s anything wrong with making walls look prettier). I think of it as visual hypnotherapy. A portrait like that would act as a powerful focalizer of intent — and an ongoing subliminal suggestion — acting not only as a constant, conscious reminder but also compelling you on deeper, ‘unconscious’ levels towards your ideal self-image, and thus to greater self-actualization.
The symbols we surround ourselves with have more power than most suspect. Most of us are hypnotizing ourselves very haphazardly, not only through the thoughts we feed ourselves (especially about ourselves), but through all the external influences we (do or don’t) surround ourselves with. Our external environment is symbolic of our inner environment, and changes in one facilitate changes in the other. There is no reason not to be taking control of this power, once you’re aware of it. And there is no more creative force in an individual’s life (at least that’s within the individual’s control) than his sense of self — his self image.
So yeah, hit me up for a godstar-portrait if you like. One day it won’t be free… But for now it’s absolutely a mutual benefit thing to make it so. I’ll be providing you with some potent visual hypnotherapy, you’ll be helping me build a kickass art portfolio. Win-win!
<– This here is not the best example of my work, by any means — it’s just a small collage, quickly made (and with no painting involved, which would change everything), but it expresses a lot about the character it depicts through the colors and symbols used that you couldn’t get from a straight photo.